We all know that life meets you at the level of your audacity.
Think about it. How many things have you wanted to do but never did because you were scared? How many opportunities have you talked yourself out of because you thought, “Maybe I’m not ready,” “What if they say no?” “What if people laugh?” or “What will they think of me?”
Meanwhile, someone else who may not even be more talented or qualified than you is out there asking, applying, speaking, starting, trying and putting herself forward.
That is where audacity comes in.
To have audacity doesn’t mean you have to become rude, arrogant or disrespectful. It means having the nerve to go after what you want. It means being willing to speak, ask, try, fail, learn and try again without allowing fear to keep you hidden.
Because potential is great, but audacity gets you into the rooms.
Why Every Woman Needs to Have Audacity
I genuinely believe every woman needs a little more audacity.
And before anybody starts thinking I’m telling women to become unnecessarily loud or entitled, that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about the kind of boldness that makes you stop waiting for permission to become the woman you know you can be.
Confidence plays a huge role in this. And let’s be honest, there are certain things that can give a woman confidence. Beauty can. Intelligence can. Money definitely can. If you have one of these things working in your favour, you’re already carrying something that can give you an advantage. If you have all three? Girl, life is looking very interesting for you. 😂
But even then, what are you going to do with what you have if you don’t have the audacity to use it?
Pretty privilege is real too. Being attractive can sometimes influence how people perceive you and the opportunities that come your way. If you have that advantage, use it wisely. Take care of yourself, present yourself well and understand that looking good can work in your favour. I talked more about this in my post on Pretty Privilege, so you can read that when you’re done here.
But beauty isn’t enough. Intelligence isn’t enough. Money isn’t enough.
You still have to show up.
Life is a bully, and sometimes it seems to obey and bow to the people who are audacious enough to face it. The person who keeps raising her hand eventually gets noticed. The person who keeps applying eventually gets an opportunity. The person who keeps asking eventually gets a yes.
And this is why life begins where your fear ends.
What exactly are you so afraid of?
Are you afraid people will laugh at you? Are you afraid someone will think you’re doing too much? Are you afraid of being embarrassed? Are you afraid that people will suddenly start talking about you?
Okay, and then what?
Why are you protecting a reputation you don’t even have yet?
You are so worried about people judging you that you’re forgetting that they are going to talk whether you do something or not. You might as well give them something worth talking about.
Because potential is beautiful, but potential sitting quietly in the corner is still just potential.
You can have the talent. You can have the degree. You can have the idea. You can have the looks. You can have the skill.
But audacity gets you into the rooms.
How to Have Audacity as a Woman
Speak Up More
A closed mouth is a closed destiny. You cannot expect people to know what you want, what you can do or what you deserve if you never open your mouth to say it.
Speak up more. Ask questions. Contribute your ideas. Tell people what you want. Put yourself forward.
Sometimes, the person who gets the opportunity isn’t necessarily the most qualified person in the room. Sometimes, they’re simply the person who was willing to raise their hand and say, “I can do this.”
Don’t allow someone else to take your place simply because they were willing to speak while you were busy worrying about how you would sound.
This is especially important when it comes to jobs. If you see an opportunity you want, apply. Don’t disqualify yourself before the person hiring has even looked at your application. You might think you don’t have enough experience or that there are probably better candidates, but you will never know unless you try.
Sometimes, having the audacity to apply is the first step to getting the opportunity.
Become Comfortable With Hearing No
One of the biggest things stopping people from being audacious is the fear of hearing no.
But let me tell you something: it is better to hear no than to never ask.
You don’t know what could happen until you ask. And if the answer is no, okay. What exactly happened? You heard a word.
No will not kill you.
Hear it, accept it and keep moving. There will always be another opportunity, another person to ask, another door to knock on and another place to try.
Instead of being afraid of rejection, start seeing it as part of the process.
- Ask.
- Hear the answer.
- Learn from it if necessary.
- Move on.
- Keep looking.
- Try again.
Eventually, you will find your yes.
Act Like the Person You Want to Be
Think about the woman you want to become.
The capable woman.
The reliable woman.
The successful woman.
The woman who knows what she is doing and carries herself accordingly.
Now ask yourself: How would she behave?
How would she talk? How would she walk? How would she handle herself in a room full of people? How would she respond to an opportunity? How would she carry herself when things don’t go according to plan?
Start acting like her.
I’m not saying you should become an imposter or pretend to be something you’re not. I’m saying you should start behaving according to how the ultimate version of you would behave.
If you know you want to become confident, start carrying yourself with confidence.
If you want to become successful, start making decisions that move you towards success.
If you want to be reliable, become someone who keeps her word.
You don’t have to wait until you have everything figured out before you start becoming that person. Sometimes you become her by practising the behaviour before you fully feel like her.
Have Value
Now, audacity alone isn’t enough.
You cannot have the audacity to walk into every room and demand a seat, only to get there and have nothing to offer.
Have value.
Have a skill. Learn something. Become knowledgeable. Be useful. Be reliable. Be someone people can trust to get things done.
Because yes, audacity can get you into the room, but what happens when you get there?
You need something that makes people say, “We need her here.”
People invest in value.
So don’t just work on becoming a woman who is bold enough to ask for opportunities. Become a woman who is so good at what she does that when the opportunity comes, she can actually deliver.
Be damn good at what you do.
Be Unapologetically Relentless About Dreaming Big
Please don’t allow people to make you feel small because your dreams are bigger than what they can imagine.
You don’t have to make your dreams fit your environment.
Just because you haven’t seen it happen around you doesn’t mean it cannot happen for you.
Sometimes, our biggest limitation is believing that our reality has to look exactly like the environment we came from. It doesn’t.
Dream beyond what you’ve seen.
Dream beyond what you’re used to.
Dream beyond what people around you consider possible.
If you need to leave your environment to build the life you’re imagining, then leave when the time is right. Don’t spend your entire life shrinking your dreams so they can fit comfortably into the world around you.
The world is wide enough for you.
So dream big. And don’t apologise for it.
Take Risks
At some point, you have to take the risk.
Because if you don’t take the risk, how are you going to find out?
You can sit down and calculate every possible outcome. You can think about everything that could go wrong. You can wait until you feel completely ready.
But sometimes, you simply have to take the step and see what happens.
Take the risk of applying.
Take the risk of starting.
Take the risk of asking.
Take the risk of putting yourself out there.
Take the risk of trying something you’ve never done before.
You don’t need to know exactly how everything will turn out before you begin. Sometimes, the only way to find out what is possible is to actually try.
Keep Your Plans to Yourself but Act on Them
Not every idea needs an audience before it becomes a reality. Sometimes, the fastest way to kill a good idea is to tell ten people about it and ask them what they think.
Everyone will have an opinion. One person will tell you it won’t work. Another will tell you it’s too risky. Someone else will tell you they tried something similar and failed. Before you know it, you’re doubting an idea you were once excited about.
You don’t have to announce every move you’re making. Keep your plans close and act on them.
That doesn’t mean you can never ask for advice. It means you should learn to trust yourself enough to make decisions without needing everyone’s approval first. Sometimes, you need to stop talking about what you’re going to do and actually go do it.
Learn to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
Having audacity also means being able to say no without feeling like you owe everyone an explanation.
Say no when someone crosses your boundaries. Say no when an opportunity doesn’t align with your principles. Say no when something doesn’t fit the person you’re trying to become.
You don’t have to accept everything just because someone offered it to you. You don’t have to stay in situations that make you uncomfortable just to keep other people happy.
And please, stop feeling guilty for protecting yourself.
No is a complete answer. You are allowed to choose what works for you.
Detach From the Fear of Embarrassment
One of the biggest things that keeps women from having audacity is the fear of looking stupid.
“What if they laugh at me?”
“What if they say no?”
“What if people think I’m doing too much?”
And because of that fear, you stay quiet. You don’t raise your hand. You don’t apply. You don’t speak up. You don’t put yourself forward.
Stop.
You cannot keep hiding your potential because you’re scared someone might embarrass you.
When you start speaking up and putting yourself forward, people may wonder who you suddenly think you are. They may notice that you’re no longer sitting quietly in the corner. Let them.
You are not living your life to make everyone else comfortable.
Don’t sacrifice an opportunity because you’re afraid of what somebody might say. You will survive the embarrassment. What you might regret much longer is the opportunity you never took because you were too afraid to try.
Believe That No Matter the Outcome, It Will Work Out for You
You need to believe that you can figure things out.
If it works, great.
If it doesn’t, learn.
If you fail, keep moving.
That’s it.
You don’t need to know exactly how everything will turn out before you start. Sometimes, you just need enough confidence to believe that whatever happens, you will deal with it.
Maybe the opportunity works out exactly how you imagined. Maybe it takes you somewhere completely different. Maybe you make a mistake and have to start again.
You will still be okay.
Don’t let the fear of an outcome you haven’t even experienced yet stop you from trying.
Don’t Be Moved by Peer Pressure
There will always be someone who thinks you should be doing something differently.
Your friends may have an opinion.
Your family may have expectations.
Society may have its own idea of what a woman should be doing at your age.
And social media will always be showing you what everyone else seems to be doing.
You cannot build your life around all of that.
Don’t let peer pressure, society’s expectations, family expectations or social trends decide your life for you. Listen, think for yourself and decide what actually makes sense for you.
You are the one who has to live with your choices.
So do what is best for you.
Be an Opportunist and Take Leadership Roles
When an opportunity comes, take it.
Don’t sit around waiting for someone to choose you when you can put yourself forward.
If there’s a leadership role, volunteer. If there’s an opportunity to speak, speak. If there’s something you know you can do, raise your hand.
Stop waiting to be invited into rooms you could have walked into.
Be the woman who puts herself forward. Be willing to take the opportunity, learn as you go and figure things out along the way.
But here’s the important part: make sure you’re damn good at what you do.
Audacity may get you the opportunity, but your value is what makes people remember you.
Fix Your Laziness
And yes, we need to talk about laziness.
Sometimes the task itself isn’t even the problem. It’s the way you think about it before you start.
You start thinking:
“How many hours is this going to take?”
“This is going to be so stressful.”
“I have so much to do.”
“I’m already tired.”
And suddenly, you’ve mentally exhausted yourself before you’ve even started.
Stop focusing so much on the process and start thinking about the outcome.
Think about how good it will feel when the task is finally finished. Think about what completing it will give you. Think about the relief, the progress and the result you’re going to have at the end.
Let that motivate you to begin.
Sometimes you don’t need more motivation. You just need to stop thinking about how hard the process will be and start thinking about how good the result will feel.
Frequently Asked Questions About Having Audacity
How Do I Become a More Audacious Woman?
Start by doing the things you normally talk yourself out of. Speak up, ask for what you want, apply for the opportunity, take the leadership role and stop waiting for permission. Audacity grows when you practice using it.
How Can I Be Bold as a Woman?
Trust yourself more and stop allowing fear to make your decisions for you. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room. Being bold can simply mean knowing what you want, expressing yourself clearly and being willing to go after it.
How Do I Have Audacity Without Being Rude?
Having audacity doesn’t mean disrespecting people or acting entitled. You can be confident, direct and ambitious while still being respectful. Know your worth without believing you are worth more than everyone else.
How Do I Have Audacity for Business?
Stop waiting until you feel completely ready. Start the business, pitch the idea, promote your product, contact the person, ask for the opportunity and learn as you go. You may not know everything yet, but you can still start with what you have and improve along the way.
How Do I Have the Audacity to Apply for Jobs?
Apply anyway.
Even if you don’t meet every requirement, read the job description carefully and look at whether your skills and experience make you a reasonable candidate. You don’t have to reject yourself before the employer even gets the chance to.
Let them tell you no. Don’t tell yourself no first.
How Can I Stop Being Afraid of Rejection?
Understand that rejection is not the end of the world. Sometimes it simply means that particular opportunity wasn’t for you.
Apply again. Ask again. Try somewhere else. Improve where you need to and keep moving.
The goal isn’t to never hear “no.” The goal is to stop allowing “no” to stop you.
How Can I Stop Caring So Much About What People Think?
Remember that people are going to have opinions whether you do something or do nothing. You cannot control what people say, but you can control how much power you give their opinions.
Do what aligns with your values and the life you want to build. You have a life to live, not a reputation to protect from people who aren’t living it for you.
Be the Woman You Want to Be
Having audacity is not about becoming rude, arrogant or trying to prove that you are better than everyone else. It is about becoming brave enough to take yourself seriously.
You have to stop waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect opportunity or someone else’s permission to become the woman you know you can be.
Speak up. Apply for the job. Start the business. Take the opportunity. Say no when you mean no. Walk away when something no longer aligns with you. Dream bigger than your current environment.
And yes, dress like the woman you want to be too. The way you present yourself can influence how you carry yourself, so if you want to work on that side of your glow-up, read my guide on How to Dress Like the Woman You Want to Be.
Most importantly, remember that you don’t have to figure everything out by yourself. When you’re scared, overwhelmed or feeling like you’re about to back down, talk to God. Ask Him for strength. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you when you’re feeling teary, shaky or unsure of yourself.
You can be scared and still move.
You can hear no and still try again.
You can fail and still get back up.
You can walk into a room without knowing exactly what will happen and still believe that somehow, it will work out for you.
The world is not going to hand you everything you want simply because you have potential. Sometimes, you have to have the audacity to ask for it, go after it and believe that you belong there.
So stop shrinking.
Stop waiting to be chosen.
Stop asking everyone for permission.
Have the audacity to become the woman you want to be.
